Alone... and alone, wait for me...

By Heather

I sit alone against the cold, rock walls. my eyes shut in concentration. If I could change this damp and icy surface, I'd give it your warmth and shape. How I wish I could be held by you again, like that one time.

My body was so severed, but that moment was the least painful in my life. Your arms around me, protecting me against attack. I looked up at you, trying to tell you to save yourself. Did you listen to me? No, you were always so careless with yourself. You never killed with a first attack. You pityed your enemies, even if they wanted you dead. You toyed with fate, And it toyed with you.

You made me watch as you got hit by that energy blast. I couldn't do anything to help you, I was too weak. Yuusuke and Kuwabara came too late. When they finally arrived and killed that damned Youkai, You were laying limp over me. I used my remaining strength to turn you over, I looked into your glossy green eyes.

"I'm sorry... Hiei," you sputtered softly, barely a whisper. I could see the world haxy around me, Blurred by my own tears. I knew I was crying, for once I didn't think of who saw me. I pulled you closer to my body. You were becoming colder, I tried to warm you with my ki. Again, I was too weak. too weak to even ease your suffering. I looked at you again, Ignoring my tears.

"Stupid fox..." I whispered hoarsly and touched your cheek. "Please don't leave me... I.." The foreign words got stuck in my throat. Your face was getting paler by the second.

"...I know...." you finally whisper back. Your last words, I'll never forget them... "I love you, too... Hiei" With that you collapsed in my arms,

I was overcome with panic. My body shook as I sobbed into your silky hair. I felt myself being watched by the others, So i picked you up and left. I look up from my resting spot. my wishes didn't come true, I still rest against a lifeless rock.

My eyes meet a small stone, it reads...

"Here lies Youko Kurama. The only one that is worthy of a Koorime's love. The only that is kind enough to return that love to a Forbidden Child."

Tears swell in my eyes as I remember. I shake away my pain and stand. I walk to the small headstone and kneel. My hand traces my own handiwork. I sigh at the surroundings. Where you wanted to be all your life. You once told me, "I think I want to live outside, I'd love being so close to the plants and animals. Maybe near a lake or pond..."

This is what came to my mind when you said that. The only place I know that is as beautiful as you are. "Kurama..." I hold back my tears and shake my head again. I feel I need to finish this outloud, Before it eats away at my soul. "I love you...

I guess somehoe you've always known. I remember the day we met. The look in your eyes. I knew you'd do me no harm, Yet I still fought you. A smarter person would have killed me then, without thinking of nursing me back to health. You were always careless back then, Like you were two years ago...

Hn, two years... I can't believe it's been that long. I remember it like it was yesterday. The detail haunts my dreams, Along with my conciousness. If only I'd've had the courage to tell you sooner. Things could have been different. If we weren't too busy arguing that day...

My mind returns to the day our souls were parted.

"Hiei! Wait, don't try to defeat him yourself!" You called after me, But I shrugged it off, I was so stupid for that.
"I can handle him myself. I'll show you once and for all, I don't need a stupid fox's help." You looked so hurt when I said that, But I ignored it. I walked into the cold pit, That was where Koenma said we'd find the Youkai.

I searched for youki and couldn't sense anything. I realised he was hiding his powers, So I called out. "I know you're there! Come out and fight me, coward!"
"Don't be stupid, you need my help. Koenma said he was too strong for you alone."
"Get out of here! I don't need help, especially not from you!"
"If you weren't so arrogant, You'd realise you are able to be defeated."

I should have listened to you. But as you said, I was too arrogant. You were always right about me, It scared me. You knew me better than I knew myself. I pushed you to the ground and ran ahead. I heard you call after me, but again, I ignored it. My mind was too hazy from our arguement, I didn't notice I had ran right into our enemy. I yelped when he picked me up by my neck. I kicked him with all my strength,

But it did nothing. Koenma was right, he was strong. He threw me against the walls of his pit. Like an idiot I didn't call for help. Instead I unsheathed my katana and attacked. He was fast, But I got a few hits in. He grabbed my arm, And I screamed as he twisted it. I heard it crack beneath his strong hand. And he threw me back again.

Before I could get up, He took my katana and turned it against me. His fighting style was like yours. He toyed with me. After he decided I was cut enough, He lifted my nearly useless body. He pitched me over, Near the entrance. I was surprised when I didn't hit the ground, Instead I landed in a warm embrace. You caught me.

He threw ki blasts towards you, But even with my weight, You were able to dodge most. You kneeled down to put me to safety, But you got hit in the back. I was too sore to help you. I wished I was stronger. You turned around, To see another ki blast barelling towards you. You covered me, And took all the pain yourself. Your screams shattered my heart. I couldn't help you, And therefore it killed you.

I wanted to die with you, But Yuusuke defeated the demon. I held you, ignoring the pain in my arm, And listened to your confessions. "I love you, too... Hiei."

I sigh as the wind picks up, Thunder growls in the distance. I look at your grave once more. I smile, A smile only you can see. I set down a single rose near your headstone, And next to it, A single tear gem. I know in my heart you're always with me. But the pain of living without your smile is unbearable. I look up at the sky, And sigh again.

"We'll be together again soon, my kitsune." I stand again, After my solemn vow. "Too much pain... I can't go on like this anymore. Without you with me, My life is torture." I rest my hand shakily on my katana's hilt. I unsheath the blade and look at it. "We'll be together soon," I repeat softly. I rest the tip of the blade on my chest, Directly over my heart. "I love you, Kurama.."

I wince as I stab though my chest, the pain splitting into me. The coppery taste of blood fills my mouth, And I fall to the ground. My head turns to your grave and i smile, Blood trickles out of my partially opened mouth. "I love you... Kurama." I choke out my last words, And the world goes black.

~OWARI~